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Flatter than the Flatlands - Birchip Easter Comp 2004 From the Red Faces Competition: The Man from Royal Talbot by Hugh Alexander Ah, Birchip! Which I'm sure is aboriginal for tailwind, no matter which end of the paddock the comp committee allocate to tow from. Although this year they managed a reasonable job, except for the final day when there seemed to be no wind at all. Day 1 was a quick jaunt east to Cannie; the task committee considered it too late for a long venture, although once in the air the lift was good for this time of year. Garry Hickson attempted to use the new untried 'EF' dolly which the team only made the week previous.Garry attracted the attention of many as the dolly went for a brief fly also. After recovering and taking off again he flew not to goal, but past it. Ian Haigh radioed to his team that he had landed on the road to Ultima. It turns out that he was actually on the road to Warne. A driver went past and asked him where he was - he announced he was on the road to Culgoa. Rohan Holtkamp won the day, so he wore the Superman outfit the next morning at briefing. Peter Davies was 13th. Day two didn't look too bad, although a cloud band was on its way and expected at around 3:00pm. As it happened, more than half the field got away on course when the cloud moved in and shut the day down, causing no one to make goal. Ann Moss was attempting to take out the skypig award with seven tows in an effort to make it out of the paddock. This also earned her the second extracted batch of 'Essence of Rohan'. (What's the 'Essence of Rohan', I hear you ask? A delicacy tasted by few, an elixir so rare, untouched by human hands, collected with the help of Sandra Holtkamp, jumper leads and a car battery. This potion aids the languishing pilot in their particular area of lacking.) Tim Osbourne made the best distance with 38.1km. Steve Walley was 13th with 17km. Saturday night brought some unexpected talent to the Birchip RSL, with the running of the Red Faces comp. The Holtkamp children teased the crowd with the prospect of consuming a few Easter eggs. The Thunderdorks put on a puppetry of the penis show ('G' rated for the kids), then came the 'pièce de résistance': Team Clown with 'The Man from Royal Talbot'. A poem about Beavo, who's now firmly back in the saddle after a rather nasty stouch with the dirt, and the Royal Talbot being a repatriation hospital in Melbourne. The poem is loosely borrowed from Henry Lawson. Day three was north-east to Lake Boga, 63.2km. Ten pilots made goal, with another six within 10km. A cover of stratus cloud came in late and closed the day down. Our question on the landing form was, "You know you're still an intermediate pilot when..." ; Vanessa Sparke wrote "...when you land only eight kilometers from take-off, you sit there eating blowflies with your Vegemite sandwich, and you don't care." Another pilot wrote, "when leaving the paddock means closing the gate behind you." Ian Rees' driver (wife) had a flat tyre while on retrieve. Ian over the next hour had to explain over the radio how to change a tyre on a 4WD. First for the day was Steve Blenkinsop, with Trevor Scott 13th. Ann Moss, after one short flight, packed up, went back, re-towed, then flew 21.6km. Day four was 51.8km to Nyarrin, which ended up a cross tailwind task. Stuey Coad from team Rock didn't want to be left in the paddock on the last day. After a reasonable first tow, in which he chose not to use the height he had, he left the paddock with 400ft and amassed a massive 2.2km in scratchy lift. Rohan Holtkamp won the day with a time of 1:52 hours. Tony Lowrey, the only other pilot to make goal, arrived in 2:09 hours. Andy Schmidt was 13th. Results
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